It is extremely hard to fall in love with someone romantically if you don’t love yourself, cliche but true. The old looking in the mirror trick. As hard as it is to grasp for a wise individual with a few more miles on the clock, it is near impossible to shrug off the stubbornness of youth and acknowledge that when you are annoyed by others it is a reflection of yourself. For example; getting annoyed by fat people, you yourself may or may not be overweight physically but psychologically you are self-conscious of your weight. This form of lack of self love comes from the expectations ‘we’ as aspiring individuals have formed of our selfs (lack of pleasure when not achieving a desired goal). When we are annoyed or angry (it is much harder but helps) to look at the situation from a fly on the walls perspective, why does that persons attitude upset me? Why does that guy driving really slow piss me off? Negative thoughts are easy to conjure about other people when we are unhappy with ourselves, so why is there so much negativity or on a deeper level, so much lack of self love?
Acknowledgement, Acceptance, Forgiveness.
Acknowledge the anger, Accept why it is making you angry (not because the person is a slow driver but because perhaps you should leave 10 minutes earlier for work, or press the snooze button on your alarm twice instead of four times!), forgive the person for their wrong doing. You should not forget what has happened otherwise it could happen again, but forgiving someone helps progression, rather than regression. Persistent negative thoughts about a past event is exhausting, forgiveness helps to live in the present moment and to set the platform for future endeavours.
My past event was football, I was never good enough. Representing my state wasn’t good enough at the age of 16, there were kids my age representing their country. Travelling overseas for the sport wasn’t good enough, there were players my age earning a living off the sport. I began to lose focus of the reason I began playing the sport and ending up losing a purpose for playing. I never enjoyed the sport to its full potential, I was taking myself to seriously and ignoring the benefits, my social life was my social life, and football was work.
Most people judge in comparison to the person that is doing better, rather than the less fortunate, things more often than not, could be worse. The story of the man who has a nice house with a brand new boat, happy until he sees his next door neighbours new boat is bigger. Competition is healthy and helps us aspire to be better but it is important to not get attached to that objective if it falls out of reach.